I can't even follow her,I have to truce it with Jere, anyhow. I suck my cheeks to stop myself from crying. "Look what you did!",I scream at Jere but my voice cracks in my throat.
I'm so tired I don't know when I drift off to sleep,sitting on the bench of the garden. My head hurts and my bloodshot eyes burn. I'm mad at them but I care about them more than my anger could ever take toll on me. I need something,something that will help me make an understanding between them. They are the only family left for each other. I need them to stop, I need them to stick together. I had stopped thinking about these words for years now. Some powers I guess that I posses and girls deeply need? What could that possibly be? It's just a matter of time you figure out what." I never understood what she meant. She always said,"You have something that so many girls wish upon. Not Con maybe but she always knew when something was wrong with him. How do I calm her sons? Everyone thinks I know them better than anyone ever did but that's not true. I need to think what Susannah would do in this situation. She'd hug me to her chest, rub her hand across my back and place a soft kiss on my forehead. She would hug them close to her,soothe them with her soft words and lift their pressure of guilt as well. Cry over her sons fighting,hating each other so badly and bickering over their rights.īut she would never hate the person who caused all of this, the person who is inevitably the reason for this fight. I knew if she would be here she would resolve this conflict between her sons and lift the weight of argument from everyone's shoulder. In that sweetness lay her capability to ease things,to soften them. What would she do in this situation? She was always so sweet and friendly. Their smell overwhelms me in a way that makes my heart ache but on the other hand relaxes my body easily. In the garden I walked through the lilies to the peonies.
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